Do you love how I reappear magically from time to time? Yeah, me too. I always love when I can actually write, post pics, and truthfully I probably have the time, I just don’t always make the time. If people loved to read blogs without pictures, then I would have something to say ten times a day!

Hi friends! Making coffee at my parent’s house…believe it or not, see that Taster’s Choice Instant Coffee? That’s my parent’s FAVORITE! I think instant is extremely nasty, so I made a pot of coffee for myself, made up a nice steaming mug and put the rest in the fridge to enjoy cold, on the days that I stop over during the week!

Coffee addict…not so much the caffeine, but the taste! One of these is decaf, one was from the morning, and the other mug was left in my car from the day before. Oops.

I made this Oatmeal Apple Bake, it’s super good! Tons of protein, healthy carbs, and healthy fat! There’s baked apple on the bottom of the pan, which makes a warm, sweet, cinnamony crust! The pan makes 4 serving sizes, or you can cut 8 slices, and eat 2 for a meal. 1/8 of the apple bake is 133.5 calories, so 267cals for every 2 pieces, which makes for a great meal. Just top with natural pb or a little greek yogurt for extra nutrients like I did! Here’s the link to the recipe YUM. I took out the chia seeds and nuts cuz I didn’t have any, and I only had 1 apple.

Next up friends…red velvet cake protein bars! SO good! These for real do not taste healthy. I added a little greek yogurt with truvia as a topping, Sunbutter tastes amazing on them, and it tastes really good crumbled up in oats! Get the recipe here. The picture doesn’t do the taste justice, and the white thing…wet paper towel that I keep over the bars to keep them from going dry. Or shall I say everyone’s favorite word? Moist.

Crock pot lasagna! I had no clue it could be done, but it can, and it turned out better than I could’ve imagined. I honestly didn’t get this recipe from one single site, it was a little pinterest influenced, Cooking Light, and random google searches.

Ingredients:
1lb lean ground turkey (I used 93/7)
2 cans of Hunt’s Tomato Sauce- basil, oregano, garlic flavor
4 garlic cloves, chopped
1c chopped onion
Basil
Oregano
Italian Spice
Pepper
Salt
Garlic Powder
15oz Low Fat Ricotta Cheese
1cup Kraft low-park Skim Mozzarella
1 egg white
1 zucchini
Whole Wheat Lasagna Noodles

Directions:
Sautee onion, garlic, and turkey, pour tomato sauce into pan, allow to brown and simmer, add spices to taste (I used the tomato sauce vs spaghetti sauce to eliminate some sugar and cut down cals)
Meanwhile, mix ricotta, egg, and cheese in another bowl
When meat sauce mixture is ready, spray crock pot, line bottom of pot with part of the mixture, then lay noodles to fit crock (about 3)…you will break a few to get them to fit.
Spread 1/4 of mixture on noodles, 1/4 of chopped zucchini, 1/4 of cheese mixture, noodles, and repeat until you’ve used all meat sauce and cheese mixture.
Cook for 31/2 to 4 hours, no longer! GREAT NEWS…You don’t have to cook the noodles before hand!
The lasagna was really good. Next time I may try cottage cheese, but I also may try butternut instead of noodles! Now that I’ve made it once, the possibilities are endless.

Adam LOVED the lasagna, like he couldn’t stop eating, and he doesn’t really like my “healther” versions! This was a winner for sure!

This is not the final product above…this is during the layering process!

Lastly, I played with soup! Butternut and Bean Soup.
Onions, green peppers, and garlic sauteed in a pan, while butternut (I roasted the night before for softness) 2 cans of black beans, and 1 can of chicken stock went into the crock. I let it cook for a few hours, and topped with fresh tomatoes, avocado, greek yogurt, and added some diced chicken!

You can add in whatever you like…corn, other beans, stewed tomatoes which I’ll do next time, turkey bacon bits, the list goes on!

The picture looks like poo, but don’t judge a book by its cover.

Man, it looks super gross…

I do not lack motivation to get to the gym, to have a great workout, or to eat healthy. To be honest, I like working out and fueling my body with food that has nutritional value. Success story right? Well, wrong. I do however crave the occasional cheesy, grease laden pizza, a HUGE piece of cake, or a bowl of ice cream to eat my cake with, and maybe pour a bag of peanut M&M’s over. But I don’t do any of these. Like not even a little bit. You might be thinking that’s a good thing…and it really is, in a clog your arteries kind of way, but in a reality type of way, is it? Is it healthy?

Here’s the deal. I shy away big time from foods that we label “Bad.” Even though professionals say there’s no such thing as “Good” or “Bad” food, I label food, and I bet you do too in some form or another. Why do I do this? I’ve convinced myself that my ass will look like the size of a bus after a cupcake, or my stomach will be void of all muscle tone after a piece of pizza. Clearly this is not true. One meal will not do this to me, nor to you, so why do I “Think” like this. Well, because if you think something so many damn times you convince yourself it’s true. Now do I sit on my couch all day imagining my food with devil horns and halos? No, I really don’t. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I didn’t think so hard about what I put in my mouth, and occasionally just went with it.

BUT, I know how I would feel. GUILT. I know, you know what I’m talkin about. Then the self talk chimes in, clouds your brain, and all you can think about is how you probably should be waddling home instead of walking because indeed you look 7 months pregnant after that pizza. Oh and of course you’ll be hitting the gym first thing tomorrow morning. You’ll be at the gym before it even opens to get on a machine and sweat the cheese right out of your pores…and you know what, you’ll be back to your old self, and that’s when it hits you, “I can eat a piece of pizza, workout, and look the same!” So why the guilt and negative self talk? Because, just like any other habit or routine, if you tell yourself something more than 21x it begins to manifest itself into a huge monster that won’t go away. What to do? Well, that’s what I’m going to be working on. Practicing to change the way I talk to myself.

The thought isn’t about abandoning my healthy tendencies. I am to the point where this is my lifestyle, to change it would be to change me, and that’s not I want. I’ve become too routine to make this all go away, but I’ve also become too routine to make any changes, that’s what isn’t OK.

I have more confidence in myself than I did 5 years ago. I’m confident in my ability to be healthy, to help my friends and family with a little bit of advice in regards to food/exercise/nutrition, to make healthy choices for myself, and truly, this post may not reflect it, but I’m extremely proud of my body. I love how strong I’ve become, and I know it’s from my hard work in the gym and in my kitchen. But I want to be better. I want to continue on my path of health and nutrition, but like my mom said, “There’s more to being healthy than food and exercise, there’s your overall mind and spirit too.” She helped me see that being healthy embodies the entire self, not parts, not just the physical, but the whole being. So I may not go for that pizza, cheeseburger, or cupcake just yet, but when I do it will be without all the negativity. How do I know this? Because if I tell myself that I will be OK more than 21x, then I will start to believe it.

My experience with workout buddies is limited but not completely non existent. When I first started working out I joined a gym with my sister and I knew nothing. I will always remember the day she laughed at me in the middle of the weight room because I was so un-coordinated.

Fast forward a few years later. I’m in Omaha, going back and forth to Chicago to visit my now husband, and I’m as efficient as can be in the gym. My routine is down, I can try new things without feeling like an ass at either gym, in both cities. Fast forward AGAIN. After a brief stint living in Chicago I’m back in Omaha working out with my sister in law. She has the same workout schedule as I do…workout 5-6 days a week. But our goals were and still are entirely different. She loves cardio. I hate cardio. We could meet each other at the gym, talk for a few moments, and that was that.

In the last 2 years I’ve been solo. Developing my own strength, reading blogs, looking up exercises, and truly becoming stronger, more dedicated, and confident. I’ve said before that I experience a high when I move up in weights or increase reps. Truly a wonderful feeling.

Currently, I have a workout buddy. My friend Kristin, a runner, decided to try out my gym for 30 days. I wasn’t nervous but just wondered how my routine would change. The gym is my place where I get to relax, think about my day, stew over anything that maybe pissed me off. Lifting heavy isn’t everyone’s cup of tea either, so to say I wasn’t apprehensive would be a lie. Regardless, I was just excited to have some girl time.

Can I say working out with someone has been something I never thought I would love, but do! It’s been 2 weeks, going on our 3rd, and we keep a great schedule, talk about meeting times every time we exit the gym together, and we’re both accountable. We’ve messed with our workout split a few times, we’re still trying to find something that works, but this is it. A few changes will obviously occur. We are doing an intro to pilates this Tuesday night, and I totally skipped out on Saturday. I’m even finding that I’m more willing to try new things…a pilates class, an organize spin class…all things that make the gym an obligation to me. With a buddy, it seems more fun and less ewwww.

So far it looks like this:
Mon-Back and Biceps
Tues-20min cardio+shoulders/triceps
Wed-Spin
Thurs-20min cardio+chest
Fri-Legs
Sat-Cardio

I’ve shared with Kristin my lifting journal from January to September. She can see how I played with reps/weights, and can visually see my workouts. I also wrote out the exercises I do the most, if she wanted to look them up online, or to come up with her own workout the days we can’t meet. She also has a list of exercises in her notebook that we’ve tried, and she’s been the one to get me to finally train my abs! The buddy system works!

Having a buddy keeps one accountable not only for getting to the gym, but getting through those last reps, and someone to share the ups and downs of everyday life with. We’ve brought each other homemade soup, and post workout cookies to keep our food goals aligned with the hard work in the gym. So far the buddy system has proven to be successful!

A few buddies, but Kristin’s got the Skinny Girl Margarita right in front of her…call it her post workout recovery shake!

It is 5 days into the New Year, the time for “January Joiners,” and the resolutioners. I actually don’t mind the business at the gym like some people. It’s refreshing to see people gung ho about fitness/health/nutrition, but what saddens me is how quick people fall off the wagon. I’ve been reading blog after blog where the writer is identifying their goals for 2012, and setting resolutions regarding their personal life, their health/nutrition, or something with their careers. Some people are so specific in their goals: drink 64oz water, workout 5x a week (jog 3x, yoga 1x, and strength train 1x), say “No” less often, plan 1 date night per week, see my family 2x a week…and the list goes on and on.

Is there something wrong with this? No, but am I judging that person? I could lie and say “No,” but hell yeah I’m judging them. I’m thinking, I barely have time in my life to do ALL of that…why not just go with it, try your best, and see what happens? Why not say, I hope to be more active, drink a bit more water, and exercise? Doesn’t that seem less hard? I sure do think so. But, I’m not perfect at all. I’m a planner for sure, and I feel guilt if I don’t see my family, don’t make it to the gym, or when I do say “No,” which I say often. I also pressure myself way too much in the area of gym, tan, laundry. Just kidding, more in just the gym and eating healthy. Control Issues? Clearly. So this year, what are my resolutions and goals?

I am not making any. I don’t want to “Stick” to anything. I don’t want to be accountable to anyone, especially to you guys. If I make a goal, you would see it, and you would wonder if I held up my end of the bargain right? Well, that’s just some more pressure I don’t want to deal with it. So I’m saying to hell with resolutions this year, and I’m going to try to be/do less of the bad stuff and more of the good stuff.

What are your goals/resolutions for 2012?

Happy New Year friends! I’m a little late on saying “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Holidays,” but that’s just how I do things.

So the next two pictures will indicate a few things. A: My lame excuse for holiday decorating. I bought the runner thing at Target last year post Xmas for $.99. That’s a freakin bargain. The green tray thing? That was a gift from someone, can’t remember who, it came with some candles, and now it’s storage for our remote controls.

Further evidence of our lame decor. Our artificial tree, already donned with lights…no hard labor there. Ornaments you ask? I’m lazy, no children to impress, no Elf on The Shelf bullshit, just a tree with an Elmo suitcase…awesome.

Now the second thing you will learn from these photos. How close our “Living room” is to our kitchen. Like 10 feet. Now wait…

This means, I was within seconds of all of these cookies for DAYS on end. For real. Those cooling? Cranberry with orange zest cookies dipped in white chocolate. Super good.

Because of all these cookies, I started doing this.

1 banana, 1 pear, 1 apple, 1/2 bag of baby romaine, 1/2 bag of spinach, juice from 1 lemon, bunch of parsley, bunch of cilantro, and water.  This made about 10 cups of a cleansing green juice. I drank one every morning before breakfast.

This was not meant as a cleanse by any means, but it was meant to feel “Cleaner” and not so gross. I made the juice 2 weeks in a row, drank it for about 10 days, and haven’t made one since. Do I feel more clean? Sure, why not, especially since I haven’t washed my hair for approximately 4 days. Shampoo frampoo.

Lots of baking and cooking in the last few days. I took all of Sunday to batch cook proteins, cut up veggies, cook a spaghetti squash and bake for the week! Doing this helps making lunches, and packing snacks 10x quicker! I can also make fast, simple dinners when the most of the meal is prepped!

Salmon. The mixture on top is so good and creamy. 1/4c Kraft Mayo with Olive oil, garlic powder, lemon pepper, salt/pepper, juice from a fresh lemon and parsley, spread over salmon and bake.Some of my roasted veggies: Brussel Sprouts, Cauliflower, Butternut Squash (my new favorite) fresh beets, Trader Joe’s Soy Chorizo (seriously so good) goat cheese, balsamic and mango salsa to dress.Lean ground turkey mixed with taco seasoning, Fage greek yogurt, mango salsa, fresh tomatoes, avocado, carrots (I ate half of them before taking this picture) brussel sprouts, and Trader Joe’s Tomato and Basil hummus.

Then the baking occurred. First up, Chocolate Chip Cookies!

Those are DARK chocolate chips. I had to be a little healthy.

Then I made these. “These” are healthy Sunbutter Whey Cookies from Oxygen Magazine. 1T nutbutter of your choice, 1/2c oats, 1 scoop protein powder, 1 egg white, 2 packets of stevia/truvia, and 2T of carob chips, dark chocolate chips. Drop into little balls, cook at 350 for 20min!

For dessert last night I dipped a Sunbutter cookie into my healthy hot chocolate. 1/2c Almond Milk, 1/2c of water, 1T of Hershey’s Unsweetened Cocoa, 1 packet of truvia. Nuke for 2 minutes, and add 2T of light Redi-Whip. SO GOOD.

I worked hard for these cookies…Oops, totally forgot to grease the parchment paper. I had to cut out the cookies and scrape off the bottom of every single one. I’m not a food waster, I will save anything and everything. Trust me.

I super messed these Coconut Macaroons up too, and yes I kept them. They actually taste amazing. Lesson learned…BUY an electric mixer so your eggs beat stiff. I don’t have an electric mixer of any kind friends, so I had to whisk away until my arm was about to fall off. The macaroons are healthy, and good for you. I got the recipe here. My friend Lindsey is a hollistic health coach, and sends us a monthly newsletter for health/wellness and nutrition tips, as well as recipes. Do not be fooled by this picture friends. Check her out!

I allowed the macaroons to chill on the counter, cut around them, and cooled them in the fridge. This morning I added a macaroon as a topping to my Irish Oats and some Sunbutter…beautiful.

And then I broke my FAVORITE mug in the world. Adam and I received a gift card to William Sonoma when we got married. These mugs can hold the hottest liquid and feel cool to the touch. I’ve broke 3 of them in the last 3.5 years. Sad.

But then things turned around because I made all of this awesome stuff. Bon Bons for Baby Jesus. Inside these balls are Candy Cane Hershey Kisses OR Mint Truffle Kisses. You can find the recipe here. A little time consuming wrapping the dough around the kisses, but easy, and not very messy. If you have kids, nieces, nephews this would be a great little project for them!

Getting ready for the oven!

Mini Me? One batch cooling, the other going in. Not sure what’s going on with this photo.

I melted white baking chocolate in a bowl, then scooped it into a ziploc baggie, cut off the tip and drizzled over the bon bons.

Final Product! Ta Da! I’ve only had one in wrapped in mint truffle so far…I ate one and then said to my husband, “I think I’m gonna poop my pants.” For some reason he knew that meant they were super good. Is that weird?

And my last batch of cookies…Funfetti Cake Cookies!

And one last kitchen fail so you’re not totally jealous of my baking success. I realized a little too late that I forgot to put the pot (it’s below in the red) in the crock before pouring my chicken stock. BUT I was resourceful and grabbed the nearest pan, caught the liquid and poured it into my pot!

So now I have 80+ cookies and need to figure out who they’re going to and how many of them I wanna keep for myself! Happy Holiday week friends!

What’d you bake for the holidays?

Scrabble War. I always win, my husband quit when the score was 145 to 50. Sore loser. BUT, this was his starting word…thanks.

I won because of IQ and QI. Technically, IQ isn’t a “word,” it’s an abbreviation for Intelligent Quotient.  But he didn’t dispute! I got 11 points for each word, AND triple word score for QI. Winning!

Me. Winning face. Don’t mind the couch, it always looks like this. It’s “Super Couch.” All cushions come off, bring the ottoman over, and we sprawl on the couch with pillows and blankets every night.

Moving on. I made “Lean Chicken Fingers,” from Oxygen magazine for lunch.

Ingredients: 1 chicken breast, 2T of egg whites or 1 fresh egg white, 2T of crushed almonds, or a handful of non-crushed/sliced almonds, 2T of plain oatmeal. Spices.

Put chicken in a ziploc, coat with egg whites.

Blend/Process oats and almonds. If you can see to the left of the photo, I used Blue Diamond Wasabi and Soy almonds to add some more flavor! I added a little garlic powder and pepper to the mixture, add to ziploc bag to coat chicken. Bake at 350 for 20 min!

I was too hungry to snap a picture of final product! Sorry! I did however roast cauliflower, brussel sprouts, and butternut squash too. I’ve never roasted bnut squash, and loved the sweet flavor. I used olive oil to coat veggies, with a little cayenne, paprika, salt and pepper!

Super good.

Shoulder Workout and 30 minute intervals on the treadmill!

I subscribe to about 7-10 blogs, and I take the time to read them all. Sometimes my inbox gets super full after 2 days of not checking email, but I love having the wee hours of the morning to read a few blogs before for work, or taking up an hour on a Saturday morning while my husband is still sleeping to catch up on health tidbits. Well, I just finished up reading an entire comment section of skinnyrunner. Her latest blog linked to an article about readers hating on their favorite bloggers who monetize their blogs…reviewing products they would never actually use, or always hosting give aways of products companies have paid them to advertise on their blog. The advertising takes away from the bloggers actual goal, which is to reach readers based on their content. Well, the comments ranged from, “Your content sucks, you shouldn’t get paid,” to “You’re the best, you deserve to be on the Housewives Reality show!” My opinion? I don’t care if you get paid or not. I skip over the stuff that I don’t want to read, and read the stuff that I find relate-able. That being said, I’ve unsubscribed from a few blogs because there’s nothing I see myself doing/trying, or the blog isn’t a good fit for me. Believe it or not, I’ve had some un-subscribers. Maybe you want to be taken off my email list, but you’re my friend, and that may be awkward the next time we’re in the same room together…but I write this blog for myself mostly, and share things I have a gnawing feeling to get out that I don’t always want to say in a Facebook status update! I also like to share what I have found works for me nutritionally/health-wise, maybe it will help you too? Who knows.

Just had to get that off my chest! I don’t advertise, obviously, and I’m not attempting or trying to make billions, I just want to share myself with friends and family.

Anyways. I had no quinoa, no spinach, and 1 piece of bread left for a meal. Protein was lacking, and so were the vegetables. Lunch today ended up being sauteed cauliflower, broccoli, green peppers, and tomatoes, with an egg pancake. I made the pancake with a little salt, pepper, 1 egg and 1/4c of plain greek yogurt. The yogurt made the pancake super fluffy, and gave the egg a nice cheesy-ness taste. I topped the egg and veggie mixture with avocado, 1 slice of turkey bacon, and salsa…perfection.

No workout today, off day. I did however sweat it out a little on the stairmill for 40 minutes yesterday. I didn’t want to workout, didn’t feel like lifting, knew I was lacking in the cardio department, and knew I wanted something slow and easy. Elliptical sounded too easy, so I chose the stairs, set it at 55 steps per minute. This was not a hiit workout. This was an “I’m just gonna read magazine after magazine,” workout. I’m glad I went though.

Off to bed my friends. I just felt I owed ya one.

Just a few weeks until Christmas is here! We spent yesterday at Super Target shopping for the people on our list, mainly the kids in our families. My plan of attack included a list, but like always, I didn’t follow it. Things (toys) kept catching my eye, and I kept saying, “Mila would loooove this!” So my niece took over my wallet yesterday. Nothing yet for my niece Noa, she’s the size of a pea, and I have no clue what to get her, and nothing yet for Adam. I still have two weeks!

It was a busy, busy week! We took an Olly the Trolly ride on Thursday night around area neighborhoods for Christmas light stalking! It was SO fun! My mother in law organized the event to include all of her kids (my sister, brother in laws, and my husband) all the grand kids, she invited some friends, her nephew and his family, and then my sister and her family! Panera was ordered for all of us, and we had cute little boxes with our names on our orders with big chocolate chip cookies! The trolly was also stocked with snacks, and wine…this had a lot to do with my dragging ass Friday at work, oops!

My MIL (mother in law) bought all of the kids pajamas to wear on the trolly! It was so cute!

No kids, but we’re still having fun!

Cooking Club: Once a month we send out an evite to all the girls in cooking club, the host chooses a theme, preps the entree, supplies some of the drinks, a few sides, and we all then sign up for apps, cocktails, sides, and desserts! For December, we re-created Thanksgiving, but with a beef tenderloin instead of turkey!

Hostess with the mostess…Megan preparing the beef.

Part of the cooking club crew! I think there were 12 of us present that night, but 18 in the club. I made brussel sprouts and turkey bacon with fresh sage and thyme.

I also made cookies with one of my favorite girls this week! After pressing the cookie cutters she basically dug into the dough to eat the M&M’s. I love her!

Mila’s Cookies!

One happy girl!

Workouts were good. I tried nothing new this week, figuring out a new routine, and maybe a new plan of attack. I’m thinking of FINALLY utilizing my free training session when I first joined the gym to learn some BIG compound movements like hang clean and press, and all the man moves with the long barbell used for squats and chest presses. I only work muscle groups now, but I want to train my body more as a whole than in parts! We shall see!

What are your personal goals for fitness, nutrition, or overall health?

“If your word does not reflect your honor and spirit, do not speak.”

Isn’t that a good quote? I have been doing a lot of self reflecting lately. I am reading the book, The Life You Were Born to Live, which is based on some numerology and a lot of science. Because of our “Birth Numbers” (our birth date added up, ie: 05-22-1982 0+5+2+2+1+9+8+2=29, 2+9=11, so my birth number is 29/11) we have certain “things” about us that identify who we are.

This is me reflecting.

For example the “1″ in my birth number means I’m creative, but the “Double 1, or 11″ means I have double the issues to find my creativity. The 2 and 9 also are part of my life path, but I haven’t had the chance to explore further.  The book allows you to wonder if you are perhaps in the right place in your life, and allows you to question the things you’re doing, and to reflect. I have never read a self help book, but my friend introduced this to me when I first learned I was going to lose my job. I became interested, googled my birth number, found more info and decided to read the book. This book for me isn’t my guide in life, I’m not doing or following everything it suggests, but it’s a learning tool. I did read that I’m someone who has a lot of energy, if I don’t expel that energy positively, like exercising, writing, reading, it may rear it’s head as an ugly addiction…drinking, sex (yes, this can be a bad thing) drugs, food, which I find to be interesting. I think I have a good relationship with food, maybe not always, so I can understand completely. I’m happy I have my blog is an intimate place for me to share myself, and I’m doing everything I can to honor myself in this blog, by writing only for me, but to present information/material that my friends and family will find entertaining. I’m happy to have exercise as well, it apparently is the only thing that keeps me sane!

Surrounding myself around people where my word is true.

Figure out your birth number friends, google your life path, and tell me something about yourself that you’ve found true!

Thanks for being part of my journey as I continue to find out what the hell I want to do with my life while continuing to be fit and be fed! Speaking of which…I ate way too much Tandoori Chicken last night. I’m still full.

I woke up at 9AM this morning, 8:44 yesterday and feeling great. I’ve been going to bed within an hour of my normal bedtime and getting an extra 1.5 to 2 hours of sleep. This has been tremendous for me emotionally. Usually I force myself to get up between 6-7AM on the weekends, and then I’m a major bia all day, and achingly exhausted…not this weekend!

I did wake up sore thanks to this workout here: onefitfoodie click on the link and scroll down until you see the lower body workout. I did modify it a bit. I only warmed up for 5 minutes, and just walked, no running. I did the entire workout, but not the palloff press…I like to try new exercises when the gym isn’t busy for fear of looking like an ass. I also did the metabolic finisher but for only 1 round, and stretched a TON at the end.

The workout actually left me starving all day:

breakfast 9AM- All Bran, protein powder, Almond Milk, Coffee

post workout 11:40- Cottage cheese, 2 Cinnamon protein bread pieces, Strawberries

Lunch 1:15- Baked Chicken, mixed veggie plate of roasted carrots, asparagus, broccoli topped with mozzarella cheese and salsa, 1 piece of dark chocolate

Snack, STARVING at 3:00- 1scoop of Chocolate Protein Powder, 1T of Natural PB, 1 packet of Truvia, and 1T of unsweetened cocoa, mixed together, freeze for about 20min.

Snack, Still STARVING at 4PM- oz of unsalted, raw mixed cashews and almonds

STILL STARVING at 5PM- I had to have dinner at this point! Chicken, this time a breast and a half, roasted mixed veggies over arugula, brussel sprouts, and goat cheese for some added fat, with a little olive oil.

I was good and full after this, actually for the entire rest of the night. Don’t be afraid to feed yourself when your metabolism is on FIRE, just make good choices. Healthy fats, proteins, one ingredient wonders: apples, pears, bananas, grapefruit…pair these with string cheese, nuts, natural nut butters, or any source of protein or fat to stay satisfied.

How was the rest of my evening spent? Oh at the annual Xmas party on my husband’s side. Every year someone takes their turn to plan/host the party. This year the theme was Ugly Sweater, in the past it’s been an extremely formal event, party dresses and all…this was a welcoming change for me. I love to get dressed up, but the evening is usually on a cold, snowy night, and options are limited as to what’s comfortable!

Adam and I made our sweat(shirts), we cheated, at his print shop, and rocked the curbside gear!

Final Product:

We should’ve won for most original if not the ugliest:

I’ll leave you with this video of the dancing queen! I’m going to try this at the gym today! I can barely run on a treadmill, let alone dance!

Unfortunately my job situation ran out. My last day of teaching was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I know I’m not “finished” teaching, I did not leave by choice, nor was I fired. We shall blame the economy. Effing economy, Eff U. (Imagine my middle finger).

Fortunately I’ve had a lot of time on my hands. I get to be with my sister and nieces while she’s on active maternity leave. I pretend I’m on maternity leave. I can wake up whenever I want. Those who know me well, know that I still tend to get up between 5-6AM for no other reason than I feel like I’m already missing out on the day. The last few days I’ve been working on this though. Napping and going back to bed proves to work and makes me less cranky. I’ve also had the chance to take a yoga class at a real studio in the middle of the day, yes, while you are all at work! It was glorious.

Here’s the one thing about classes. I love them, always a good time, but I hate feeling obligated to get to the gym or yoga studio at a certain time. It makes me feel un-motivated, and I don’t want to be there. But, I never regret going. Twas the case yesterday.
I went to Lotus House of Yoga and took the basic flow class, which stretched and strengthened my entire body. The pain was awesome, feeling the fire in the twists and turns, and really feeling my body untangle itself from all of the running, cardio, and lifting I’ve been doing. It was magical. The instructor said something along the lines of our bodies “Celebrating” while in this temporary pain, and it makes sense, I felt like I just had an amazing massage! I can’t wait to go back!

BUT, here’s the FOR REAL thing about yoga. I get so caught up in staring at my feet! Anyone else? All of a sudden, I’m like “Holy Shit!” I really need a pedicure, and my ankles are kinda hairy, and well so are my legs…oops! AND, you’re going to think I’m disgusting, but the studio was remodeled, and I was on the end RIGHT by the mirror. I was in Warrior Pose, extended my arm back, and inhaled forward and noticed I also had 1 day stubble on my pits. I shave my pits E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y. I have to, it grosses me out. But, not only was I staring at my pits, so were the 3 people behind me in the mirror! I was not in the moment SO many times during class!
To top it off…I was in dead man’s pose to finish, and the instructor always comes around for an adjustment that always feels like a great head/shoulder massage, as I’m anticipating this wonderfulness, I hear her over me, and all of a sudden she shakes my legs with a loose grip on my hairy ankles! THEN grabs each toe and gently pulls, and all I can think of how I need a pedicure in dead ass of winter. Even though it’s not really winter or snowing, but it makes my hairy-ness excuseable. Then she had to massage my ankles up to my shins. Bad news! As she moved on to the next person, my only consolation was that I couldn’t be the only one there with hairy legs!

Unfortunately I don’t have money for a pedicure, I have the time to give myself one…maybe I’ll do it today after my nap, or after the gym, OR after hanging with my nieces.

Sorry for no pics the last few posts, I want to get a new camera!

What a great loooong weekend! In this moment I feel totally recharged. I woke up from a much needed two hour nap, and have the last bit of freedom ahead of me, until Monday hits. I woke up at the sound of a text message at 7:06AM this morning. Instantly I thought it was my sister, and something was up with baby Noa. Nope, thank God! A friend of mine letting me know coffee wasn’t in the cards this morning…but after that text, I couldn’t fall asleep and coffee was in the cards!

After breakfast and cold coffee I couldn’t decide what to do. Workout? Relax? Nap? <- Which I attempted like 4x this morning, but no dice. I started stretching instead, then decided to hit up a yoga class at 9. I had about 30 minutes until class started, rushed, got ready, in the car, drove about a mile, turned around, came home, and I was back on the couch. I mentally debated with myself about working out today, and knew my body just wasn’t meant for activity today. I was back on the couch with a handful of cashews and almonds instead. Much better. I’m trying to really listen, and do what my body asks. Relaxing was the right choice.

But here’s what I really want to get to today. My mom and I visited a really great family friend, almost an uncle to me, in the hospital today. His diagnosis is acute myeloid leukemia and his prognosis is unknown. To see someone who has always been strong and now in a vulnerable state was very difficult for me. Upon walking into his room, I hand-sanitized, and unbeknownst to him, watched him from the window. He was sitting in a recliner, watching TV, looking sad. I already was nervous going into the visit, and wanted to act normal, but knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I was right. He found another lump on his neck, when just a few days ago, the CAT scan showed he was clear and closer to going home. My mom, working in the medical field, told him his possible fever during the week was symptomatic of the lump. You could tell he felt defeated, and was in so much pain. The lump was on his neck, and he kept reaching his hand to the affected area, a reminder to all 3 of us that this wasn’t going away any time soon.

30 minutes later my mom and I hugged him, told him we would be back soon, and in the meantime would pray for him. It hit hard knowing how susceptible to death he is, and that soon this may be my own parents, or others that are close to me, and I broke down. I was crying down the hallway, in the elevator, and in the lobby. My mom and I sat by the window and talked until we saw my dad come through the hospital doors as well. He hugged me, and said “I’m not gonna go through this shit Amina, I’m gonna eat donuts and die of a heart attack. It’s easier.” I couldn’t help but laugh at how true his statement was, but wondered if I would appreciate the time and grieving process Cancer can bring? Not sure.

My mom and I left and continued our conversation over more coffee. I was in tears off and on throughout the emotionally charged conversation. As we shared our feelings over death, aging, and mortality, I was able to talk with my mom about the unfortunate event of losing her and my dad one day. I can’t even begin to imagine what mourning for my parents will bring, all I see is a big cloud of depression. When my grandparents died my mom said it was the hardest thing for her, she still wishes her parents could see how she is as a mother, wife, sister, and how us (the grandkids) have grown up. She said she isn’t good with death either, but after the funeral of her parents, she came home to her own family, and that’s what kept her going. My dad, my sister, and me. It’s true she says, you must remember the good times and remember that your family is always with you, always.

It was an emotionally exhausting day, but I feel that being healthy isn’t always about what you eat, and how much you exercise. It’s taking the time to build and work on relationships, making time for others, and voicing the feelings in your heart. I felt a deeper understanding for death, I still don’t like it, but I feel better.